Monday, 16 May 2011

Whinge not, moan not

I bought the Princess the cutest Monsoon summer dress today from Oxfam in Henley. A bargain at £1.99! OK, it has a missing button on the back but apart from that, it is in perfect condition and I love it probably even more than she does.

It's "sugar almond" pastel pink and long

Loving the embroidered fairy

Such attention to detail, utterly gorgeous!

Talking of gorgeous, I love these flowers from a friend

Messy play with the Prince was fun this morning. When I say messy, I mean it's REALLY messy. The sort of mess which could cause heart failure in my own home. There are bowls of lentils, flour, dried pasta, a table spread liberally with shaving foam to run little chubby hands through. We had a great time.

But it suddenly occured to me when we left, that I hadn't spoken to another soul the whole time I was there. There were loads of mums there and it was a bit cliquey, but the Prince and I were so busy in our own little Playdoh world, that it didn't dawn on me at the time that not one of them was very welcoming to a newcomer.

I was busy listening to the conversations though and realised most women were whingeing about something trivial. I mean, there they were, in a gorgeous part of the world with adorable toddlers and babies. The majority of them were beautifully dressed, their make-up perfectly applied with a skilled hand, donning impeccable mani and pedicures - couldn't tell you the last time I had the latter...actually I can, it was the week before I gave birth to the Prince, so nearly two years ago!

Yet one was whingeing about how she didn't have a life anymore since having her kids. Yet it seemed to me she had an expensive hair cut with a fabulous colour which only an expert could have put on, the perfect nails that screamed "beauty salon" rather than something she'd shoved on at home, two gorgeous children - one of each - and was  planning to off for lunch afterwards with several friends.

Not one of the mums seemed grateful for their lot. They didn't sound like they had to go out to work and miss out on a proportion of their children's days and achievements and experience the feeling of guilt and exhaustion that many working mums have. I count my blessings often for being a stay-at-home mum (apart from the day I work in a dental surgery just to give myself a bit of pocket money and am a freelance writer, burning the midnight oil more often than not). Being at home with children is still very hard work BUT in a different way to working under a boss. Some of the mums were mentioning their nanny/babysitter at some point so it seemed to me that they actually had a pretty marvellous lifestyle

I came away feeling that yes life IS different once you have children, but it's certainly not over. I very rarely get time without my children and yes it IS hard and utterly overwhelming at times. And I do have a whinge about the fact my husband works nearly every afternoon/evening and every other weekend (Fri, Sat and Sun) and that I am not near my beloved parents, BUT life is not over! Before I know it, the children will have flown the nest and the husband and I will have all the time in the world together, yet will miss these times.

These should be halcyon days and hearing the chats this morning made me feel like I was better off spending the time with my son than joining in with them and their moaning. I would much rather be enjoying his pure joy at experiencing new sensations, than believe my life is over because I can't go out several nights of the week and have every beauty treatment under the sun.

Us mums should remember how lucky we are. There are many women out there who are desperate for children. Material possessions and socialising is all very nice but it isn't what is important.

I just felt they needed a bit of a reality check, that's all. Will get off me soap box...

And go and have yet another cup of tea!

I have had these tins for ten years now! Bit of sauce.

Which inevitably leads to some of this! Gulp!

1 comment:

Cuckoo said...

Whingy buggers! I can't bear the thought of a baby sitter right now, my baby it just to little to leave. i've only spent 4 hours away from him since he was born and I'm not ready to leave him for an evening even if he is asleep!!

Gotta say I'm a little envious of the mani pedis those women were rocking, I'm a calloused mess!

Doll, bring your mending on Friday I'll see what I can do. I can't invisibly mend your jeans but I could do a funky patch. We'll talk it through.

ere get off yer soap box! They are probably lonely in loveless marrages to high powered blokes who are shagging there valets.