Saturday, 22 March 2014

Family Ness

Well it's 10pm and I've just called Time at the Bra for the next few hours while Sweet Child sleeps and am now attempting a blog post. It's been a while, so how have you been? Oh really? Better get some cream for that...

And here I am, bedraggled from another solo weekend while the Husband toils in the office. On three hours sleep (don't ask....but seeing that you have, it involved Sweet Child , an explosive nappy, the husband coming in from the late shift, the Prince crying out twice, sick on my shoulder, the Prince then coming into our bed saying his feet hurt, Sweet Child refusing to hear my cries of Time at the Bra, me balancing precariously on the edge of our bed and then the Prince wanting to start the day at 6am...)

Meanwhile the Princess spends a full ten hours in peaceful slumber, and then wakes up luxuriously late complaining that she is "utterly shattered" and so another long day commences in this House of Horrors.

But you know what? I hold on to the good and bad times.These days are precious. One day I shall look back on these halycon days and yearn to turn the clock back. I have no social life outside children right now, but it won't be forever. I try not to moan about needing a bigger bed to fit all these children in during the early hours, because one day my bed will be cold and empty and I will miss those times we crammed in because someone had a bad dream about Darth Vader, someone had wind (the baby, not us!) and someone was stressed about school work.

It's chaos, it's messy, it's a right flipping juggling act and it's so exhausting I feel I am fighting narcolepsy sometimes, but I am also proud of the fact I am doing so much of it alone. And Sweet Child totally completes our family (although if I am honest, I'd like more, if I could guarantee I'd love it as much as I've loved this pregnancy/birth/baby lark).

Just look at her! Three months old tomorrow.


It's not all plain sailing, mind. The Husband usually takes the Prince and Princess swimming first thing on a Saturday morning for the Princess's lesson. I usually remind him to watch them, not leave one behind (he is a little absent minded to tell you the truth) and to ensure no one gets injured.

Last week I took them all swimming as he was working earlier. Sweet Child was in my Kari Me wrap sling (Best. Thing. Ever), and as we walked from the car park to the leisure centre, the Prince decided to see how fast he could run. And then tripped and head butted a wall....hard.

He staggered into the leisure centre sobbing, he had an Humpty-sized egg on his forehead and had a starring role in the centre's accident log book. Sooooo awkward that it had to happen on my watch and not the Husband's. Then both kids fell in the sea after chasing the waves, despite me warning them of the perils of turning their back on the tide. It makes me look like a right slapdash mum but in truth, I am a helicopter mother, I hover over them, I can't help it. But occasionally I take a short break. And that's when it goes wrong.

Anyway, this is when it goes right.

Peaceful moment in the sun. Vitamin D all round.

Sleeping 4-5 hours in the night...bliss.

Wearing the cutest dolly clothes

Enjoying the beach life with my brood


Tropical ain't it...
 And can I just leave you with these Tweedle Dum Tweedle Dee moments. She looks like a Weeble (remember those, 80s toy lovers?!)

Like a boiled egg


Happy Egg!

Friday, 28 February 2014

Springing for chocolate

It is so nearly spring isn't it? I can smell it in the air. Or is that just down to the fact I have overdosed on daffodils this week...



Are you having a daff?!

Talking of overdosing, I have just troughed half a packet of Oreos (never eaten them before...who'd have thought it?!) and a WHOLE bag of Mini Eggs all by my very merry self. And then guiltily latched the baby on in the hope she might drain a few calories from my appalling choc consumption today. I have no willpower at all. I is, like, well rubbish.

Of course I don't breastfeed purely so I can eat what I like (honest guv) but I know that for every ounce of milk Sweet Child guzzles, approx 20 calories are burned. Bring on the baps, the vessels of nutrition.

And so looking at my packet of Mini Eggs and the Oreos, that baby has got a lot of work to do. Poor kid, hope she likes chocolate milk.

Anyway, I need to man up as I am giving up chocolate, biscuits and sweets next week for Lent. 40 days? Man I can't go 40 minutes without a sugar fix so I am going to be seriously tested. Looking forward to a shed load of pancakes beforehand though. It will involve Nutella and bananas, lemon and sugar, almonds and raspberries. And I might just stick a Mars Bar in one for good measure.

Now, it's Friday night. What are you all doing? And what I am doing? I am sitting on the rug, waiting for all the floors to dry as just done late night housework. But stupidly I am trapped on the rug in the centre of the living room, like I am stranded on a desert island because I didn't think it through while I slopped fresh linen-scented water all over the floor around me.

It will take nearly an hour to dry so I have nothing to do except blog. If I walk on the floor, my footprints will dry and leave marks. Oh god I am so boring. I used to actually have a life on a Friday, believe it or not. I used to drink gin cocktails in fab bustling bars in Bath city centre. I used to go clubbing until the early hours.

Fridays used to be cool. Now today,  I spent two hours traipsing around Asda with Sweet Child in the sling, trying to do a food shop but getting stopped by all and sundry to see the gorgeous baby "what I produced". She is lush, I am gushing with love for her, but two hours in Asda before two school runs is stress city.

So tonight I'd rather be unwinding with a small glass of wine (don't want to upset Sweet Child when she feeds later) and a good film. But the Prince has decided to whine in a reeeally loud voice every 20 minutes and then be fast asleep when I go to check on him. My patience is waning. And now I can't check on him, because I am trapped on my rug island.  The floor is still wet. Darn it.

By the way, wanna see how similar my girls look? This pic below was taken ten years ago when the Princess was three weeks old.


And this pic was taken six weeks ago when Sweet Child was three weeks old. Both are wearing the same dress. Peas in a pod, huh?!


Oh and in between a million nappy changes, wiping baby vom from my shoulder, producing more milk than a Fresian cow and getting trapped on my living room rug, we've hit the beach whenever the sun shows its little pale face...






Warning, my next few posts may be grumpy without chocolate........

Thursday, 23 January 2014

Sweet Child O' Mine

Well Sweet Child (as I shall call her) is a month old today...how?!



A month ago, I laboured alone apart from the last half hour when the husband arrived, when I grabbed the gas and air, announced to the midwife that I might possibly need a wee (TMI sorry) and produced my third treasure in just two pushes. Yep it wasn't a wee, it was a baby......

(Oh and let me tell you, after two epidurals and a HIDEOUS previous birth experience, I feel I am allowed to shout it from the roof tops that this birth rocked. It blinking hurt, but it was also incredible).

Sweet Child is settling in well and I can't hold on to the days - they are zooming by. She weighed 6lb 9oz at birth and weighed in at 8lb 2oz this afternoon.  Isn't it amusing how some adults go to get weighed and everyone applauds them when they have shed some pounds, but you are only congratulated as a mother when your precious little one is swiftly becoming a chubster. Otherwise you get a withered look apparently from the health visitor.

Anyway, I am still on cloud nine. My beautiful voluptuous bump has turned into a heap of saggy excess "matter" and you can probably see my boobs from the moon, but my gosh, I wouldn't swap it for all the choc in Thorntons.

It's fair to say I am besotted so if you hate all things baby, look away now. This ain't no cherry tree bargain blog post. This is a post to show why I no longer visit charity shops (for the time being!) read, crochet, have leisurely long baths, blog frequently etc etc. I get nothing done all day. I just indulge in skin-to-skin with the baby and cherish very minute because I will never do this again. Oh no, the husband wants the snip. I wanted to hold a "two brick job" ceremony at Christmas, you know, do the job properly but oddly enough he was rather reluctant...

This teeny tiny little dot has stolen my heart and all the spare time I had up until four weeks ago. I had forgotten how motherhood is such a full-time job in the early days and weeks. The feeding alone is massively time consuming. Some of you may remember I am a breastfeeding peer supporter for new mums and it's my complete passion. It doesn't work for everyone and I do believe the pressure is piled unnecessarily onto new mums to be a success in breastfeeding but you have to work unbelievably hard and constantly to get there sometimes and it isn't always possibly for women.

I found it difficult for the first few days. Especially as Sweet Child sleeps more than my other two did in a whole year and only feeds for five minutes at a time. So I spent hours pumping furiously and eating oats to increase my milk supply. I made savoy cabbages a new fashion accessory and gritted my teeth through the sore nipples. But now I know her, I realise Sweet Child is just a very efficient feeder. This baby girl has only given me one hellish night in the past month. Imagine! I know it won't last so I am making the most of it. She is a very happy and chilled baby. I need one of those this time, believe me I've DONE sleep deprivation and it's not recommended.

Right, want some pics? No? OK, look away now then, quick.....go and make a brew or something.

Minutes old




She lived down my dresses for the first week or two!








Just before being discharged on Christmas Eve

Day old


First walk on beach

The Prince used to wear this


Such a knowing look!

Oh.........

Too cute





Here come the girls

Unsure at bath time

Life down my dressing gown is good apparently

Baby bunting




In the pink (god I love pink!!!)



So that's why I've gone all quiet! Plus I've been bombarded with visitors daily and am trying to get some rest in between.

I will probably hit a few cherry tree shops soon although I've lost my mojo for anything else at the moment. Life with three children is crazy. But wonderful and she slots in perfectly.


The best surprise the Husband could have given me!

Sunday, 5 January 2014

Briefly, baby.

I shall blog properly soon but right now, all I can do is type one handed, as my beautiful baby girl snuggles herself against my chest.

Yes, I finally became a mum of three, ten days late on Dec 23rd. It all went wonderfully, although if I am honest, I would never relish going through the labour bit again. It literally felt as if  Britain's Strongest Man had gripped my lady garden between his hands and totally ripped it apart....

But my goodness, I got a perfect peach as a reward at the end. I shall share her with you shortly, as soon as I can prise her off me....and as soon as I can bear to.

But for now, I'm all about the Babymoon. Bear with, normal service will resume soon.




Friday, 20 December 2013

Warning! This is not a baby announcement post. Cos it's late, innit.



Yep, I shall get my (non) laughing gear around this piece of tropical perfection ce soir, to entice out Baby Carol/Noel/Jesus/Holly etc etc.

And before you ask, no I haven't had the baby (does it look like I have?), yes I know I'm massive (thanking you muchly), no I have no idea when he/she will make an appearance (who am I? Derren Freakin' Brown?), no I am not dreading the birth at all (a total lie...) and so on.

Honestly, the school run is taking double the time as the world and his wife interrogate me. A couple of mums are merely looking at me now with a pained expression and walking away.

One mum actually studied my bump on Monday and said: "So you haven't had the baby yet then, have you?"

I was wearing this dress, hardly hides the curves of my belly does it?! Maybe its my hormones but I am beginning to purse my lips at completely stupid questions like that.

Sugar Plump Fairy


RAAAAAH! I feel better for that. Sorry.

I also keep getting felt up by a woman who works in Tesco Express. She keeps leaning over the counter when serving me, and gropes my bump, sighing and declaring: "It will come soon."

But she's been saying this for weeks and there is still no sign, yet I am a week overdue today and getting twitchy about the whole Christmas shindig.

While she fondles my bump lovingly, you could almost forget that there is an entire queue of people behind me, with urgent purchases and tight deadlines. Because this member of staff is simply lost in Babyville. Lost, I tell thee.

Then it gets rather awkward and I turn and face the customers behind me, mouth a "sorry" at them and do my best to prise her off me. Twice a week at least this happens.

I'm all for people touching my bump, I find it fascinating so can understand others wanting to cop a feel. Unless you are Robin Thicke, then I'd find it rather distasteful.

I guess the Tesco lady's reaction to me is far better than her colleague's.

He served me on Monday and greeted me with "Hello dear, where's your moustache?"....

(how would anyone else react to that?)

Admittedly his first language isn't English but it still threw me to the point where I was rendered speechless, finally muttering "I don't know..." before running back to the car to check my face.

What else rhymes with "moustache"....can't think what else he could have been asking me.

Anyway moving swiftly on, I recently came across this shop. Bet there are LOADS of treasures in there, shame it's not a charity shop. How I wish normal sized clothes fitted me.



I have found time for  a couple of cherry tree purchases actually.

This larger cake stand (Scope £1.50) makes me so happy as I now have a family of three!



This little glass jelly mould addition also makes my little family complete.

Mmmmm the smell of my Festive Cheer candle is lush!


So here's hoping that my pineapple will soon make my little family complete.


Derek Trotter, eat your heart out.

Hope to be back with baby news soon!

Monday, 9 December 2013

Christmas time, mistletoe and.....beards

When I said in my last post that I have a thing for men with beards, I didn't believe for a moment that all my dreams would come true.

Look at his cheeky festive hand!
 We've had a festive weekend, and no, not just so I can indulge in fake white beards for my own personal pleasure.

I promised Father Christmas that I had been a good girl but Mrs Christmas pointed at my bump and snorted "I don't think you have my dear!". True, I can't deny it. Shenanigans have happened that make me slightly less good than usual, it's got to be said...

He even said I could sit on his lap, but I didn't want to break the poor chap's knee caps so I left that to the kids.


So we rode the Santa steam train:





 ....and we've been to a Christmas tree festival:

Fake plastic trees.............they were all merry and bright

This was my fave, a tree with a curry theme. Yummo.


You think you've seen it all, then they come up with this.
A poppadom bauble....
Even the angels were made of Indian takeaway menus. Genius.
And we've pigged out on roast  dinners and stuffed our faces with mince pies while all huddled up on the sofa watching The Goonies. I resemble Chunk more and more as each day passes.....

I am nesting nicely now and all my hospital bags are packed. Four days til due date. I'm so busy nesting, I haven't so much as sniffed the inside of a cherry tree shop though. Sorry to disappoint.

I am feeling so Christmassy, even though it looks like this where we live. It's still cold though. Brrrrrrrrr.