Thursday 16 August 2012

He da man

Psst! I am vanishing til early September now; a little blog break if you will.
I shall return ready to catch up with people I've been meaning to message but haven't. The Gems and Anita, really sorry I've not messaged you all back but I will be in touch in the autumn.
Eek, the autumn. How did THAT happen?!
The clock is ticking now for my 10th wedding anniversary to chime. Thanks for the lovely emails and messages, I feel all squishy (ah, that'll be the chocolate).
This time ten years ago, my sister and I were sitting on her bed drinking gin and it only seems like yesterday.


Tuesday 14 August 2012

A roundup of gubbins

Oh I was so excited to come across this in the Cats Protection cherry tree shop yesterday.

I LOVED Jemima and Hamble more than words. It was such a blast from the past. As a kid, I adored Floella Benjamin and funnily enough, my parents were at a dinner not so long ago and there she was.
Floella and my ma, gassing in the loo like they were old friends.

You couldn't get a finer kids' show in those days (#veryancient).

Well, the good weather is slowing me down. Housework hasn't happened in a while, we've been down the beach more times than I've had chocolate (yep, THAT much) and tonight I discovered the pleasure of people watching on the prom, as the sun went down.

Loafing around on the wall of a sunny play park while the kids throw sand in each others eyes. Paradise (or bad mum, take your pick).

I wish I'd been able to take photos of the people who passed, but it would have been too obvious.

This town seems to be positively heaving with fit guys all of a sudden. Semi naked joggers to be precise. Ooh I could have played tunes on the six pack of one of them but I had to sit firmly on my hands as he sprinted past.

Other things that have happened this week:

The Prince fell in the sea again. And had to be driven home in his pants. Which he thought was hilarious.

I bought this lovely H&M denim dress for the Princess from the Scope cherry tree shop for £2. She loves it.

Yeah yeah enough already

We went looking for crabs when the tide went out and came across this.

HOW hidden is that? Makes me wonder how many are dangerously near my toes!

Went to Primark. Never again with two kids. You don't get anything done.

You are NOT wearing those to school young lady

Went fruit and veg picking again.

I love Broccoli so much, do you?

SUCH an immature man...

Went back to Scope and really liked these little bargains. £1.50 for the flip flops and £2 for the shoes. They look better on, take my word.

They have a little kitten heel. Cute.
The Princess had one of her best friends to visit for a day. It was red hot and we had such a wonderful day lazing on the beach.

I finally learnt how to shut the kids up. Stick them in a police car.

Look how scared the Prince looks in the back!!!
They didn't stay quiet for long. The Princess decided to start yelling "Heeeeelp, I've been arrested!" so it was time to move on swifty.


Ooh and it's my 10th wedding anniversary this coming Friday. It was such an amazing day, I loved every single second of it.

Ten years. How fast has that gone?!

Saturday 11 August 2012

Taboo subject

Oh flipping heck, my friend Simon has just randomly tweeted "Taboo" from Black Eyed Peas to find out (on my behalf) if his real name might actually be Keith.

I just jokingly said "I bet Taboo is really called Keith or something" and before I knew it, Simon had tweeted the man to ask. We are currently waiting for a reply......we could be waiting a long time of course.

"Taboo"/Keith is one of my very guilty pleasures.

Image from Google

I have a lot of guilty pleasures. Some I am more guilty about than others (yes I am talking about you 50 Cent, although to be fair that was mainly when I was pregnant and my hormones sent me nuts). Honestly there really was a time he could have taken me "to the candy shop". Oh dear, he and the Husband are so polar opposite it is scary. 50 Cent, aka Fitty. Or is it Fiddy.......anyway. Real name is Marcus.

Image from Google (

But I always think that celebs with crazy names like that were born with really "normal" names. Yes I am referring to you Elton "Reginald Dwight" John.

Anyway, that's about as exciting as my night got other than watching Tom Daley in mega skimpy speedos...ho hum another guilty pleasure there too. And don't even get me talking about Harry and Zane from One Direction.

One thing I am not at all guilty about is the fact that I got talking to a hot kite surfer this week. This one to be precise.

Image from Google

He is ranked 13th in the world and is a British Pro who travels the world. He is a big deal in our coastal town and he tried to convince me that I might not be too old and frumpy to learn to kite surf after all. He is up for giving me a lesson (the thought of squeezing my ampleness into a wetsuit is mildly terrifying right now but I am going to think it over).

At the end of our conversation, he leaned towards me so I held out my hand to shake it but he kissed me. Right there on my cheek. Oh my, I sooooo tried to play it cool. The Princess shrieked "OMG, he ACTUALLY kissed you. You! My mum!!!!!! Wait til I tell Dad!"

Well, I instantly texted my friend who headed on over to corner him too as she wanted a kiss from him. At the end of the conversation, she came away empty cheeked! Ha ha!!!!! S.M.U.G.

Of course he probably did it in a bid to persuade me that I might actually want him to teach me after all. To prove I am not THAT old and frumpy.

Anyway, let's move on.

I got this Nigella book from the cherry tree shop (Scope to be precise). £1.50! I was chuffed as don't already have it. She does annoy me, but I still can't help but find her hair lovely and glossy. Plus I can't deny she churns out decent grub. Not "supper" Nigella, GRUB. Let's stop this Rebekah Brooks' "country supper" nonsense NOW.

PS Just found out Taboo's name is actually Jamie. And no he didn't tweet me. I just went on Wikipedia.

Monday 6 August 2012

How not to toilet train...on a train

Picture it. Packed train on the way back from Brighton, school holidays, nice weather. Let's just say it was a bit busy.

The Prince (five weeks into toilet training) suddenly announced he needed a wee. Of course he did. When we tried going to the toilet five minutes prior to catching the train home, he didn't need to go. Now he was desperate it seemed and we had only just set off.

I had a pushchair overloaded with shopping bags and knew that wandering up and down the carriages to find a loo would be stressful with two kids in tow.

But what do you do when a three-year-old is desperate? Who then started pulling the desperate face which meant I had seconds to decide what to do.

I had to think fast. I casually pulled out his plastic drinking bottle and decided we only had one option. I got the Princess to help me assemble the makeshift loo in a private fashion so no one on this crammed train would see what we were doing.

The plan was that she would open the flask while I got the Prince to aim inside it, do a quick wee and job done. And we would deal with the flask when we got home. Simples.

Unfortunately things are never smooth running so why would this be any different?

The flask was still full to the brim with drinking water (I hadn't realised) so when the Princess opened it, loads poured all over my lap as the Prince weed into it at the same time. A pee monsoon cascaded over the Princess's hand and filled up in my lap like a reservoir. The Princess was repulsed but I hissed for her to keep quiet and then realised the Prince was doing a horse wee (like the one he did in the middle of Mothercare several weeks ago) which didn't seem to stop.

After he had relieved himself (half an hour later it seemed), I managed to screw the lid back on, put it back in the bottom of the pushchair and made the mental note to put it straight in the dishwasher. Whilst high fiving myself for dealing with all this so discreetly.

Until the Prince stood up on his seat and announced to the whole carriage: "I just did a MASSIVE wee in the cup everyone! Hooray!"

Gawd, I am sure I will look back on all this when they have grown up and laugh. Probably.

This week, I have discovered two lovely Ladybird books from the charity shop.

I bought this one for 50p from Scope and realised I had never seen it before. That's a first!

I have 9 of the 16 listed. Need more!!!!
The day after buying the above book, I got this little beauty in the post from one of my best friends. It is listed on the list above, how funny is that?! I felt it was good karma as I sent a Ladybird book to a blog friend this week and was thrilled to hear how delighted she was. So I was chuffed to get the below to add to my collection.

This bit is the cutest. Ah, I LOVE reading the messages people have written when they buy books.

Wonder where Good Old David is now.
(And I bet he wasn't that old, not if Auntie Jean was still buying him Ladybird books)

If only my husband was this dapper for breakfast
(I never even SEE him at this time as he works late shifts)

Other excitement is that the Princess and the Husband were lucky enough to win their bids for Olympics tickets.

They went to the tennis on Wednesday (and got in very close proximity to Federer). No photos of that moment as the Husband forgot the camera. But as he loses most things, it was probably a blessing.

This is the man who has left a suit on the train (don't ask). His mobile has been returned to him twice in recent months ( a miracle in itself) and he has lost numerous umbrellas.

I took this before they left on Wednesday morning.

The exciting bit was last night, when they were at the 100m final with the mighty Usain Bolt which was amazing for them. And he took the camera for that (and brought it home safely....result!)

I spy the flames!!!

The atmosphere was "awesome" apparently

The man himself. Fit and he knows it!
 The poor Prince was desperate to go and there were many tears when he discovered he wasn't going to the "limpics" on the train (thank god he wasn't, with his weeing in public history).

So the two of us had fun on the beach, met up with friends for picnics and then when the Princess came home, she dressed him up and they did one of their performances for me!

Off to bed soon. With my book. Nearly finished Before I Go To Sleep. Oh go and read it already. I am boycotting the Fifty Shades trilogy. Can't be doing with the hype when I've heard how badly written it is. Unless I hear from someone that it is genuinely very good, then I won't be bothering!

Friday 3 August 2012

Skirt and sand

This cherry tree purchase of the week gets an Olympic Gold from me, I am thrilled with it.

French Connection, £3.99, British Heart Foundation. Sugar sweet!

Yeah, not quite a beach volleyball figure.
But then I eat a lot of cake...

And breathe..........

I am soooo tired at the moment. The Prince keeps appearing in our bedroom at the crack of dawn, his warm face pressed up against me. "Hello my mummy. Let's get up!"

I can't say no to that, but I am reeeeeeally tired.

I have found a little free time recently for my hobbies though, probably because we now have a dishwasher and I realised how much of my time it took up. I am reading Before I Go to Sleep by SJ Watson which is amazing and I am half way through.

I have also made a tiny bit of progress on my giant granny blanket, having spent a glorious day on the beach last week.

Oh we had a great day, after the initial (and predictable) hour of hell where the kids were fighting, the Prince got a whole heap of sand in his eye, they trod sand in all the towels and there was bickering galore. It then all calmed down and was lush.

Onto other things, recently I was awarded this:

I would like to nominate it to the below blogettes for their writing, thoughts, style and inspiration. I LOVE these blogs, take a peek if you've not come across them before!

Tracy at

Lucy at

Jus at

As I type this, the kids are fighting big style. The Husband is attempting to get out of his armchair (he got home from work at 3am so is very slooooooooow today) but I decided another tactic:

"Just let them kill each other. See who wins".

Not my most mature approach but sometimes I just give up and want to zone out of it all rather than keeping nagging and raising my voice. The noise they make can be overwhelming. This morning we had the Olympics on, the radio on, the Princess was singing a song she has written and the Prince was on his keyboard Elton John style. Meanwhile the Husband was talking to talk to me about something important.

It was all too much. So I zoned out and thought about which chocolate bar I would buy later.

Oh, and finally......

WHERE'S WALLY?!!! (aka the Husband)

Found him?? Hmmm?

Ha ha, the things I make him do!

Spotted him????