May wee, Madam

God Bless Gina Ford. I would never normally say that as not a fan of the woman, but she knows her stuff when it comes to toddler tinkles.

We are on day seven of "Operation Wee-in-the-loo-and-not-in-your-nappy-now-you-are-three-please-there's-a-poppet" (yes, the name is a little long-winded, admittedly).

We are coming out of the dark soggy tunnel, having had two major issues in the pants department, a lot of trousers in the washing machine and the Mothercare Incident.

He has been totally dry for two whole days now, telling me everytime he needs the loo. He's also ahem...."done his number two successfully into the porcelain chamberpot" and is pretty dry at night.

The Mothercare incident was on Monday. I popped in to buy 12 more pairs of pants, after realising he'd got through the last 12 pairs in a day.

While I stood wondering whether to go for Ben 10 or Thomas the Tank Engine briefs, the Prince stood in the middle of the store, legs apart, and proceeded to do a horse wee (you know the one, it goes on and on and on in a fast, gushing motion) which spurted out both trouser legs and created a pond on the floor. A Toddler Tsunami if you will. Like David Walliams as the old woman in Little Britain.

After much apologising to the staff (who seemed UNUSED to this sort of caper bizarrely), I spent five minutes on my hands and knees trying to mop it up with a poxy cloth they gave me (which merely smeared it over the floor).

Slippery When Wet indeed. But I did my best to prevent other harrassed mums from breaking their necks. And paid for the Ben 10 pants.

The husband and I then had no other option than to make the Prince do the Walk of Shame all the way back to the car.

What a pants day...

Totally unaware he has to talk past a group of tourists ahead
(who all sniggered as he walked past)

 Talking of pants, the weather has been total cack hasn't it? Still, it's been good for the garden (gah! I'm turning into a pensioner, they always say things like that).

My living room smells amazing at the moment:

Cherry tree polka dot jug and glass vase. £2.50 for the pair. Bargain!

I could sniff these all day. Oh, that I do......

The weather was alright yesterday morning so the Prince and I played at the park on the beach. It's a gorgeous wooden park which is looked after really well.

I can see the sea mum!

Oh please perk up sun, I want to go and swim!

I am feeling very puffed up in the chest department (even more so than normal) with the Princess this week.

She performed at her Leavers Concert, as starts the middle school in September. She got an extra mention at the end plus credits in the programme for re-writing the lyrics to The Black Eyed Peas' I Gotta Feeling.  The whole of the year performed it to parents and my Princess had written the whole thing herself. The husband and I were a little glassy eyed to say the least. Everyone High Fived her and patted her on the back at the end which made me relieved to know she has totally settled into school and is a popular little girl.

At the end, the rather formidable head teacher called her up in front of everyone to congratulate her and said she was another Gary Barlow in the making (which the husband found an outrage, he's not Gary's biggest fan).

I Gotta Feeling....that middle school's gonna be awesome

 She also had a mini performance herself. Excuse the poor videoing, it was just on my camera. I couldn't capture the I Gotta Feeling on video as she wasn't very close to me at that point.

 And finally, some success at the cherry tree shop. I bought this gorgeous Coast skirt for £3.99. I loves it, I do.

Look at me leg, all up for a catalogue pose!

Nappy Days

(can someone tell me why the sheesh my blog text is weirdy beardy. What did I do??? How do I remedy it?!!)


I went into Gregg's (the Baker's) yesterday. I am not a snob (my kids will have the odd Fruit Shoot too).


I don't exactly "frequent" the place, however, if one of the kids wants a cake and I want them to be quiet (so I can peruse cherry tree shops), I will slip inside and sniff the air while deciding which cake to get them.


Ahhhhh, you can't beat Eau de Doughnut. 


Although, when I popped in yesterday and joined the long queue (noticing that everyone seemed to be wearing tracksuits yet none of them looked like they actually do any exercise...), I soon realised it wasn't gorgeous cakey scents I was smelling. The whole place smelt of wee.


Now, in the coastal town where I live, there is a little old lady who carries her whole life in ten shopping trollies  (you couldn't make it up) and lives on the streets. At first I wondered who else could create this aroma of urine that filled the air. Perhaps she'd nipped in for her daily sausage roll. I couldn't see her in the queue of Sporty Spices though.


Then it hit me. I was on day one of potty training and I had completely forgotten about it.........the poor Prince was a little soggy to say the least. Turns out Eau de Tramp was coming from him, poor mite.

Nappies are now banned. But it ain't easy

I bought 12 pairs of Thomas the Tank Engine pants yesterday. He got through 12 pairs of Thomas the Tank Engine Pants. And seven pairs of trousers. He finished up wearing swimming trunks around the house when we ran out of everything else. 


And then he cried. I nearly did too. I HATED yesterday. Especially when I noticed he had a tail poking suspiciously out of the back of his swimming trunks. Then realised what the "tail" actually was. 


Sometimes I feel like a fake mum. I hate poo, sick and bogies. It's just not my bag.  So with hidden retching and fond memories of how I used to spend my Friday evenings, I dealt with it.


Today was better. Only two pairs of wet pants. But no poo......ho hum.


The rest of the week has been pretty good. I had a lovely cherry tree shopping experience (note to my new followers, I call charity shops "cherry tree shops") with the lovely Sarah from Annaboo's House. We had two whole hours without children. We managed several cherry tree shops and a coffee before we ran out of time.


She has been a busy bunny with all the crochet creatures she makes and sells. She also makes these lush rings so I couldn't resist buying a couple of rings and matching earrings. We are planning another shopping sesh soon, as well as a wine evening. I am so glad I found her through Blogland, how lucky to live so close to someone who loves charity shops.

Yes I know, I need to moisturise more often (they look like elephants trunks!)

Look at the cutesy earring I am showing off too. I am thrilled!

Sarah spotted this crochet blanket - how sad that someone's hard work ends up in a second hard shop.... I love it but not enough to buy it.

I really fancied this casserole dish but decided to try to resist. Now I am regretting it. I love the design, very retro. I don't think it was proper pyrex, but very similar.

Sarah snaffled these two beauties.  How cute are they?!

I loved this kitsch board game. The illustrations remind me of something. Is it Mr Ben? King Rollo? Not Now Bernard?

Sarah REALLY wanted to buy this belt, which was made with beer bottle tops studded into the leather, but I said "No Sarah, please restrain yourself. I know it is very you, but you can't have it all." No doubt she really regrets not getting it...

Now who would wear a belt like this?
Sorry it's blurred but old ladies were getting suspicious of me taking pics

And this is my major regret of the week. NOT buying this. I should have got it and painted it. But I am trying to be good at the mo.  But for £30, I am a fool. Should have snapped it up.

Onto other things, a five-year-old boy (who is the son of one of my new friends) has got a massive crush on the Princess. It's hilarious (but not for her). He sees her at school and hugs her, kisses her up and down her arms and says "Ooh, I LOVE you!".


Here she is dealing with it well, at his birthday party last week. He is truly smitten, bless him.

First time, first love, oh what feeling is this?
(pure embarrassment, if you ask the Princess)

On a final note, if you are a mother and ever at a loose end (like, really), give 'em a lemon and sit back, ready to be entertained...

Yes I've accidentally given the Prince a Friar Tuck........

And now, I shall retire to my bubble bath, read one of my new books from the library (a Jojo Moyes one, as I loved her Me Before You) and prepare mentally for day three of No Nappies. Yikes.

Not feeling sparky...

Before I talk about this morning's mayhem, I bought this gorgeous brooch from the West Sussex Horse Rescue Trust for 50p. Very apt I thought, a cherry brooch from a cherry tree shop.

Cherry nice, huh?

So today was the day that the electrician was to finally fit us a new dishwasher. I'd written it in the calendar with my permanent black marker, partly because I've been washing up 75 times a day since the end of January and partly because the electrician is fit.

(#desperatehousewife)

Anyway, you can't blame me. The Husband (who will always be my number one love stud and he knows it) works evenings and Monday afternoons/evenings can be a little dull. I was looking forward to this day (note to self: get the hell out more) and the electrician agreed to be with me from 3.30pm.

What he failed to tell me was that he would drop by at 8am this morning to drop off the dishwasher, ready for installation later on.

And guess who slept through her alarm this morning......

Now normally I get up, shower, put make-up on and dress before heading downstairs (you so know what is coming).

This morning I staggered downstairs with evil mad bed hair (reminiscent of Bon Jovi circa 1987), a coffee-stained powder-blue terry towelling dressing gown (that emphasizes the rounded bottom....and not in a good way),  NO BRA underneath which is not good when you've had two kids, breastfed for nearly 4 years in total and have boobs bigger than your head), unshaved legs and red slippers with pom poms on the end which make me look like an extra in Zippo's Circus. But it didn't matter as no one other than the kids would see me.

And then the doorbell went.

I panicked. I realised it would be him. Why wouldn't it be? Nothing is going smoothly at the moment so this didn't surprise me at all. I hid in the dining room and hissed at the Princess to "deal with it".

"Muuuuum, it's that man you're always talking about with the dishwasher, he's bringing it in now. I said you aren't even dressed yet and that he can come in."

My days get more awkward by the day.

He smirked a lot. I blushed even more.  Anyway he came around tonight and sorted me out (with the dishwasher I mean) and I've just discovered he left some tools here so I shall be prepared in the morning. I shall be a fragrant flower of loveliness and charm. He will not get so much as a glimpse of me in that state again. Ever. #mortified

Right, onto other things.

The weather is dreadful again but I still see the sea and the beach huts when I can and we had some sun at the weekend.

I got a visit from a West Country bird on Saturday. Cuckoo to be precise.

Prince and Princess loved Mini Cuckoo very much

 She brought me this cute posy of flowers in a tin can! I remember staying with an Aussie couple when we were backpacking and their kitchen was tres cool. They used old baked bean tin cans for storing all their cutlery and it really worked.

Mini Cuckoo spent most of his time eating cake and looking cheeky.

It wasn't me...

There was a mild drama on the beach when the Prince fell in quicksand.

Still time to take a pic before he disappears.

There was an enormous squelch/squerch sound as I finally pulled him free, then we had to try to dig deep for his Crocs. Oh, a day wouldn't be the same without something mad going on.

And I got this gorgeous card through the post from my little sister Anna at the weekend. Have had a few stressful moments recently so she saw this and thought of me.

I've been a busy bee on the work front and have a few jaunts to cherry tree shops planned, one being with Sarah this Thursday which should be fab.

Chipper Nelly goodies and sunshine at last!

This is just a quick one to let you know about a fab giveaway over at Fee's which I urge you to have a look at. Although obviously don't feel you HAVE to sign up to win something so lush, because then it gives me more chance....mmmmmmmwwwwahhhhhhh haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

The sun came out this afternoon which meant Brighton beach was a happy place to be. Apart from when the Prince did his epic stone throwing....straight into a man's face. Not the happiest moment I've had in a while. I had to do a lot of apologising profusely and the chap took it well. Could have been a different story as it must have really hurt. Pesky kids.

But the weather really perked up finally.

Eye eye

Ha! Caught in a daydream!

Before the stone throwing/man's face incident

Soaking up those rays And probably ageing by the second.

Getting well broody. Thanks Cassius!

Modelling her cherry tree waterproof jacket

He's a Rocket man

I didn't buy this but you have to love this pair of cross stitch gypsy wagons
spotted in the Link Romania cherry tree shop (sorry for reflection)

I wanted to express my love for this brooch, hand made and given to me by Sharease.
A heart, pink, sparkly. What more could I ask for!

And now I feel myself going down with a very sore throat. Burning the candle at both ends is beginning to take its toll. I feel hot, achey and a bit off colour this evening. Time for early nights methinks.

It's not alright on the night...

Look what I spied in the cherry tree shop this week. SPOOKY!!! What is it with me and freaky doll things?

I'm coming to geeeeeet yooooooou.....

 And if you really wanted to, you could make this. Something lovely for the kids....ahem.

Eerie, dearie.

I also managed to spy these in the Link Romania cherry tree shop. £1 each. Retro recipes, natch.

It's Friday night and I've only just stopped mopping the kitchen floor and scrubbing the bathroom. What has my life come to? Where is the glamour for gawd's sake?


I used to have a social life on a Friday night BC (Before Critters). The husband still worked late shifts but he would get in from work at 1am and believe it or not we would go clubbing til the sun came up.

Get a grip, it didn't seem all that mad at the time - we lived in Bath city centre and we were young and naive. Fridays, I used to love you.

Now?

By the time I get the kids to bed and eat and clear up and sit down, it's verging on 9.30pm at least. Where has the evening gone?

I spend most of it doing this...

I do clothes, not clubs these days.....

The older I get, the less hours there are. Days used to stretch out ahead. I am never, ever in bed before midnight these days and then find I am waking up in the night. HATE that.

I mean, I barely get the time for cherry tree shopping these days. I need to make time, just like in one of my fave films Withnail & I.

Anyway, today has been quite frankly, rubbish. It's been a hectic week as I got a huge proofreading job to do over just two days before it had to go to print and I felt I was spreading myself thin as have no childcare. But it's done now and I met the deadline. Phew!

I think perhaps I've been overdoing it recently and I feel like I need time out.

The weather is grim, its blowing a gale here right now. Summer, where the heck are you?

Mostly, the beach has looked like this:

Then there was yesterday when I got back from the school run looking like the understudy for the freaky girl in The Ring. Bad times.

But this morning, this arrived for me, courtesy of the very wonderful Kylie and it made my morning. Bless her, she and I love Ladybird books and this little beauty headed to me all the way from Western Oz.

Ok, so I enjoyed it more than he did...

We had one lush day this week. Tuesday was lovely and hot. And I found this on the beach!

My collection is practically heaving now

Oh, and on a tangent,  we have found ourselves a delightful babysitter. The husband and I went out the other night (a school night, he is never off on a Friday) and had such a lush time, it was a long time coming so we shall have her over again. What a find she was. Not had a babysitter in nearly nine years, just parents. I have some catching up to do.

I got myself ready with a spritz or five of my favourite perfume. It smells exquisite. It's £3.99 from Lidl and I blogged about it last year. £3.99, that's like the price of a magazine!

Eau de Lidl, how I love thy scent

My actual best friend

I think I spend more time with it than I do the Husband!

I bulk buy it and it really does smell like Chanel. It's had so much press over the last year or so, but it's never unavailable. Lidl, I salute you. Its a masterpiece.

Off for a crazy choccy biccie now then bed. Rock and roll...