Wednesday 12 October 2011


Today in a flash:

Three (two are mine) over-excited, shrieking children in the garden, all cock-a-hoop at 7.40am. Meanwhile I am bent over the worktop, huge towel over my head, steaming my blocked sinuses to death. Trying to reach my nirvana. Hard to relax in the Olbas steam when you can hear kids shouting: "Tell him to wee on the slide".

School drop off. Not late today. This is a major achievement. The kids all high five me. I am officially Super Mum. The handsome dad  (even though some people are questioning my taste, mainly my husband) asks if I want to hang out in the skate park after school. I tell him no, I am too busy. Ha! In your face!

Took the Prince to the park.

Then took the Prince to the toddler group. I've not been for months. I. HATE. IT. It is one big clique. It was OK when the coffee and biscuits came out but then they announced there were only enough biscuits for the kids today. Gutted? I nearly wept.

Survived the group, rushed home, fed the Prince and put him to bed. Then had several matters to deal with. Wolfed down lunch.

Took the Prince to breastfeeding group. I call it B.A. As in Boobs Anonymous. It's mainly for mums with tiny newborns who have trouble breastfeeding. Then I rock up with a huge tot. I am the only one there who is trying to wean him off. It's becoming a joke. He is boob obsessed. After the group we dashed to Lidl (I love their cakes) and a woman accidentally knocked into the Prince. She said: "I am so sorry for bumping into her. Or is it a "he"? Hard to tell with the long hair."

HARD TO TELL???? He was wearing boys' clothes with Thomas the Tank Engine on, a blue cardigan and boys' shoes. Which bit of my son did you think made him look like a girl?? Oh, the two inches too long hair?Right. Jog on lady. Anyway, hastily got on the phone to my trusty hairdresser friend to give him a make over.

School run - avoided the vile unfriendly mums, talked to the lovely genuine ones. Dashed off, and headed to my friend Gabi's for tea. We had very in depth discussions about life after death. Beats talking about soiled nappies, that's for sure.

After tea we zoomed home and I put the kids in the bath. Twenty seconds later they were out again - the Prince announced he had pooed in the bath. Two panicking kids out promptly. He NEVER poos in the bath. Dried them, got them into bed for story time and later tackled the small brown floating object in the water. It was a Lego helmet. No poo anywhere... (*sigh*).

I had time, in all this madness, to buy the following dress for the Princess for a bargain £4.99. Oxfam is one of my favourite "cherry tree" shops and this dress is a Disney Wizards of Waverley Place design. The Princess loves this show so I am once again Super Mum.

But now I don't feel like Super Mum. I am exhausted. There is a Toblerone and wine in the fridge. I promised I wouldn't..........ah, I deserve to be a little wild tonight after such a hectic day, surely?


Sarah said...

Blimey, I'm exhausted just reading that!! You do make me chuckle though Gem!!

Love the Princess's new frock, she has a fab wardrobe!!

S x

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Oh are HILARIOUS!!!!! TITS FOR TOTS...teeeheeee...oh dear, YOU HAVE A WILD LIFE and so do I. I teach 49 kids and every day is hellish. This year is challenging, that is for sure. YOU DESERVE THAT TOBERLONE, THAT WINE, and a calm evening. I have no children of my own, never have, never will...(too old!) but I do NOT know how for example, my colleagues with children do it!!!!! SO, MARCH ON INTO THAT KITCHEN, GRAB THAT CHOCOLATE and enjoy every bite! AND..thank you for your wonderful comments!!! Anita

Unknown said...

I am so looking forward to you weaning the Prince off the boobs. It makes me think of you in a Little Britain way. I also imagine the teeth involved and it freaks me out a bit (being uneducated in such matters).

Laughed out loud at you snubbing the Handsome Dad. Hanging out in the skate park? He sounds like one of the cool boys at school so you are even cooler for the snub.

This post made me laugh right the way through. Written very well. I'm sitting here with a mini bar of Green & Blacks choc bar. Would give anything for Toblerone right now.

Hope your sinuses stop giving you gyp soon, treasure.
Love love,

Tracy Glover said...

I loved, 'Jog on, lady.' I like long hair on litte boys, it looks cute. Someone here once asked if Eliska was a boy or girl when she was wearing her pink Hello Kitty t shirt. Er, hello?
I encountered the cliques in the UK and have noticed it here too. I don't really get it. When Eliska was a baby I came away from one group almost wanting to cry. I met some nice genuine mums in the end and I am glad you have too.
I love the Princess's dress. xxx

Unknown said...

I had a dream about you and your damn boobs last night!!!!! Help!!!! I told you I was traumatised by the breastfeeding thing - ha!

I think you are great for the things you squeeze into your day. You really are Super Mum. It sounds as though you barely have time to do the breastfeeding support group yet you make sure you fit it into your week. For all my joking about the breastfeeding, I bet you are a real help to those mums and it's so selfless of you. I know from friends that women take it for granted that it will be easy to breastfeed and it can be really upsetting for already emotional new mums when they find it difficult. I bet you are a huge help. Yay you!!

Nicki xx

Cuckoo said...

I think you are a marvel for taking The Prince to a toddler group that you hate. So selfless. Hurrah for the nice mums and for Gabi, oh and rejecting Handsome Dad, very slick, verrrrrry slick!

Three kids and blocked sinus = not good. Again super mum high five to you.

Right I'm buggering off now and going to send you a text about when might be a good time to catch you today.


Anonymous said...

What a day, you deserve the chocolate and wine. I feel exactly the same about my toddler group - at least you get a free drink,we have to pay for ours!! Great Oxfam find.

little homebird said...

what a brill post, made me laugh all the way through! I didn't manage to breastfeed and wish there had been someone like you around to have helped me! But hey ho, it's in the past now but will always feel guilty that it didn't happen for me. On the up side though I did have a home birth with my second and on pain relief so at least that's something lol!

I too have had sinus probs over last few weeks, have you been to the drs about it? I've tried using beconase spray to help relieve it a bit.

Take care

April May said...

Gem I just love you! When I read this post, I was like yep, yep yep!

Stupid stupid women in the super market, "it" and "hard to tell" I bet you wanted to nut her inside! Some people, do they not hear themselves.

You're defo super mum. I went to my toddler group once, seriously i HATED it! Mum's are the worst for being so cliquey, and Me and May ended up in what seemed like the naughty corner playing amongst ourselves for the entire time, which we could just do at home without the dreaded you are total outcasts feelings, so we did.

Loving the dress, these cherry tree shops of yours have ace stuff, mine are well, not so ace, unless maybe I just don't have enough patience to search through to find the good stuff?

Sounds as though you defo earned that toblerone and wine to me! enjoy xxx

Gem said...

Just another usual day then hey? haha it sounds manic, I don't know how you do it. It makes you wonder how people manage to fit a full time job into all that as well, Crazy! xxx

Grateful4Crochet said...

you so do deserve lots and lots of super Mum high fives, and lots of toblerones and wines!!!
people can be awful, but you're great

Unknown said...

These are the days when you require a big award- but you never get it. Well I will give you a virtual award, for being the best Mummy, and juggling superbly.

I am super chuffed that you are proud to breastfeed, that deserves an award in itself.

Good on you for surrounding yourself with genuine souls- Have the best day EVER tomorrow.

kmmms said...

I meant to say: that's great news about the breastfeeding support you'll be doing! Well done! Xx

sandiart said...

So toddler groups haven't changed then!!! I hated it, the first time I went all the women turned around and looked me up and down then turned away. Made me feel right welcome, I only went a couple of times, it didn't change so I left them to it. I feel for you with the sinus I used to have it, now I get hayfever..sigh. Oh my, you have the best Cherry Tree shops, ours are full of crappy crap!!
x Sandi
Oh and I also had a giggle at your 'tit' comments.

Annaboo's House said...

Oh Missus, I HATE toddler groups.
I went once. Never, never again. Too loud, too mad, too many kids, too many mums not watching their kids be mad, and you're dead right- not enough biscuits for the grown-ups.
Enjoy wine and toblerone. It is the only way after a day like that.
Enjoy the weekend.

Annaboo's House said...

Sorry, knew there was something else I wanted to say-
my daughter (just 2) is constantly referred to as a boy by the 'older gentle folk' of the village. Yes, she has a page-boy type haircut (the little bugger refuses to wear hair adornments of ANY type, so I have no choice) but she is usually dressed in fairly typical girl's colours, including the brightest, pinkest, shiniest pair of pink bloody shoes you've ever seen.
Give me strength.
Am off for a medicinal glass of vino.

Anonymous said...

Buahahahahaha!! I am laughing out loud. T.A., huh? That's too funny.
I know what you mean about people being kinda dumb when it comes to identifying gender in children. My son gets called a girl sometimes b/c of his long, curly hair... and my baby girl who is always decked out in pink gets called a boy.

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Good evening sweet Gem!

THANK YOU FOR VISITING MY PARIS POST...Oh, we can never get Paris out of our minds, can we? Champagne under the Eiffel Tower dearest? Now THAT is always a good idea!!! CIAO, Anita