Pie's the Limit.

Warning. I am scowling. And speechless (...for once).

Just been told I look like I have eaten all the pies....by a woman SO flipping obese it's unreal. How very dare she?!

She was trying to get into the charity shop as I was trying to leave it and there was admittedly a bit of a roly poly stand off but it didn't even cross my mind to tell her that she should cut down on her pork life and get some exercise. But oh no, she felt she was in a position to talk to me in the only lardy language I apparently know.

I laughed it off but I was shocked. I admit I look like I've eaten a space hopper, and people are asking if it's triplets (already assuming its definitely twins), but What. A. Freaking. Liberty.

Mind you, she has a point...nearly 29 weeks.

Anyway, look what I am now obsessing about in the cherry tree shop. Victorian furniture. The manager said I could have both for £40. Seeing as it's me and I practically live in there, she laughed.

I just love the little key and door knob. 

I think they are so charming and so bloody pink which I am mad about. They belonged to an elderly woman who lives near Brighton and she has just been put into a home.

Trouble is, while I LOVE the pieces, we want to go with a cool, blue coastal theme for our bedroom which we simply must decorate before baby Bernard/Brenda arrives.

Decisions, decisions. I shall sleep on it. They are reserving them for me until tomorrow. Need to charm the Husband. He is all for shabby chic and fortunately we generally have the same taste in things for our home, but I have a feeling he may not feel the same about these treasures from the cherry tree.

In other news, my birthday flowers are still blooming.

And smell heavenly.....

And the best treasure from the cherry tree arrived on my door mat for my birthday:

Can you hear me gasping and salivating?!

Man, I've been searching for this book in cherry tree shops for six long years. It's sought after as there was apparently a shorter print run.

And my dear friend Kerry at http://www.thingslearntthehardway.blogspot.co.uk/ happened to tell me she'd bought it for herself for an incredible 49p (I was nearly sick on the spot), not realising I was desperate for it.

And you know what? That dear, kind girl sent it to me as a birthday present. The most thoughtful thing ever. I actually squealed! She gave up her beloved Ladybird book....for me!! What an honour. I love this book so much.

Oh and the Prince is finally settling into school although I pick him up after lunch and we tend to hit the beach during sunny afternoons, just to make the most of our time together before he goes full time.

Trousers four sizes too big. Mother can't sew. Disaster.

I am a pie eater after all..........I look like an eclipse!

Just us and some distant fishermen. Glorious.

So now I shall ummmmm and ahhhhhh about the pink Victorian furniture some more.

And then put my feet up. Tired dot com.

(Must be because I have eaten all the pies of course.
 (And the Magnums. And the cheese and biscuits. And the Peanut M&Ms. And the croissants. And the buttered teacakes. And the chocolate Digestives. And the fishfinger sandwiches. And..........repeat until you fall asleep........)

xx

38 Shades of Grey (Hair)

Ah yes. Another candle on my birthday cake today. There was enough melting wax to make a ginormous church candle for Westminster Abbey. Cos I is old, innit.

I remember being four and having a party. I remember being five, six and 13. Not the ones in between, probably due to a poor memory, cos I is old, innit.

My 13th birthday was amazing. My parents hired the local village hall and I invited practically the whole year to my teenage disco. The DJ played Salt 'n' Pepa's Push It (to this day it is still one of my favourite songs, like, EVER) and I danced with the boy I was mad about. It was truly awesome, to quote the youth of today.

A year ago today we moved house. It was the worst birthday ever. The removal men screwed up and we weren't in the house until gone 9pm. I remember slugging champagne and opening presents at a time when my big day was practically over.

This year, the Husband is working, so I am spending my evening overdosing on chocolate and blubbing over The Midwives (probably because I shall have to push out another  kid and reality can be freaky.) But he and I spent a glorious morning together after doing the school run (the Prince was a little better this morning) and indulged in a huge cooked breakfast in a sweet little driftwood filled cafe by the sea.

We get such little time together so it was wonderful. He is off tomorrow so after I've done my bit for the  breastfeeding support group, we shall get some quiet time together before the madness of the school run.

At the weekend we went home to my parents' house for two nights.

We all enjoyed a meal out in Bath, all of us (my brother lives in Chicago so sadly misses out on these occasions).

My sister feeds her baby constantly.
Fact.

I could pretend this is all I had, but I had about 19 courses.....

Just heaven.

Best stir frier EVER

So many blurred pics that day!

Then everyone indulged in a spot of shopping afterwards and then on Sunday, my parents cooked a huge roast beef with all the trimmings, various homemade desserts and then a birthday cake.

I think it's safe to say I am borderline on reaching the recommended weight gain limit in pregnancy already. I'd like to say I care, but I've just eaten a load of birthday chocolates, so I shall pay afterwards when I discover my pre-pregnancy jeans won't fit me for several years.

Ooh yes, going back to Bath (where the Husband and I used to live), we went for a stroll after lunch and discovered a huge pumpkin growing behind the Royal Crescent.....

I look like a balloon. Not a virgin though.....

My pride and joy. On a good day.....

How I miss all this, I used to take these views for granted.

One day I will own a dog just like this and call him Hamish/Dougal/Angus. I LOVE them

The kids LOVE being at my parents' house.

Wearing his Darth Vader cloak for Sunday lunch, as you do.

Our little family just keeps on growing. My nephew baby William will meet his baby cousin in 12 weeks!

There is always an embarrassing moment at the end when I leave to return home to the south coast, as my Mum, sister and I start blubbing as we say our goodbyes. The men just look up to the ceiling and wait for the tears to end. Every time...

Oh, and nearly forgot. I have a sparkly cherry tree treasure this week. I got this Debenhams dress for the Princess for two squid in Arundel. The Princess loves it as you can imagine.

Told you. She is STILL feeding!!!

Watermelons, Porridge and Meatloaf

Just look at the size of me.

Not seen me lady garden in weeks.............

I carried a watermelon?

I am in my third and final trimester and look like I'm carrying a watermelon. Bit like Baby from Dirty Dancing, although she carried a watermelon with graceful stature and got to snog Sir Patrick of Swayze.

I get to carry a watermelon and then push it out through an opening the size of a grape (ok, I've had two kids, it's not the size of a grape...)

Despite resembling Pavarotti's lovechild, I am loving this pregnancy. I love the way my nails are growing like weeds, my hair is thick and long (although straw-like due to living on the south coast) and my skin's not looking too bad either. When I've given birth, my hair will fall out and leave little merkins all over the house, my skin will go back to being rubbish and my nails will be bitten down to stubs as I brace myself for more sleepless nights.

What I am not loving is that the baby is lying on a nerve as of last week and causing a bit of sciatica. It has bypassed my back, fortunately, but is affecting my leg from the knee down to the ankle. I am therefore a little limpy. A bit cowboy like. A bit like I've either got a bad case of piles (and let's not even touch on that subject) or have just had a little accident. My gait is not sexy and I can't sashay. But then do I really want to be a sexy sashayer? Not a jot.

And as for my boobs. Good lord, they're already big enough to feed 500 children. Believe me, the milky bras are on me. I can say no more.

So, in other news, the kids started back at school. The Prince started school for the first time ever.  I only blubbed a bit on the way home.

They start their day with porridge.....

...and the morning papers

This is not a set up pic either! They do look at the papers. I've got to monitor what the Princess reads though...

He already has a new BFF called Vinnie and had a great first week.

Love the walk to school. How cute do they look?

Sadly there were wobbles this morning when he arrived in the classroom as it was a longer session including lunch and he doesn't "do lunch" apparently and he wants to come home and eat with me.

So from tomorrow at the teacher's request, I also have to rock up to have a packed lunch with 30 four and five year-olds to gradually ease the poor kid in. Not quite my idea of lunch out but the Prince is my favourite little chap on earth so I will do whatever helps him. I shall not eat a Cheese String though. I'm not that good a mum. It's a bit like Meatloaf. I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.......

After his first morning, he went swimming in the sea with the Husband on the last hot day.

Husband's beard is making him look like the man in the Joy of Sex 70s book. I may have to have words soon.

I merely basted

I've been in Ladybird heaven after finding a second hand book shop that had four shelves PILED high with them.

Look what I found!

Oh it's nearly Friday. We have fun planned for this weekend and I can't wait.

Calm before the morn......

Am high-fiving myself like a freakin' lunatic.

(Singing)  "I got the kids to bed by 8pm, yeah yeah,  Shimmy shimmy, go me." (Circles around the kitchen, shaking an almost six month bump that looks about ready to reveal another baby who will kindly gift me more grey hair. Not at all attractive).

We've been too relaxed in the holidays on the bedtime front but the Prince starts school tomorrow......don't, I shudder just thinking about it. I shall be the one in black, weeping behind Jackie O glasses. He and I have a lot of fun.

He drives me nuts when he hits me with his light sabre ("oh it wasn't ME, Mum, it was Darth Vader") and shares a bath with me before announcing he is doing a massive wee. But he is wonderful and I am blessed. He is also besotted with his big sister.

Everything she does:

He does:

He walked into our bedroom this morning and climbed in for a big hug with the Husband and I. Then he told us that he loved us "too much", and then trotted merrily into the Princess's room to cuddle her. "What do you want, pea brain?" she growled and crawled back into her pit. Such a tweenie already.

But away from my watchful eye, she hugs him, does his hair, tells him they are best friends and is his greatest protector. I sometimes wonder where on earth the third baby will fit into all this chaos and love.

She's loved him really (even though she often pretends she doesn't) from the very second she first clapped eyes on him.

Yep, my legs were still akimbo...the midwife had just done some...ahem...embroidery.

See? Besotted...(or knackered from his incessant crying)

Anyway, I put the Princess to bed tonight and read her a chapter of St Clare's by Enid Blyton (we love all the boarding school tales) and she asked that frustrating question, you know, the night before she goes back to school from a six week summer holiday: "Mum, will you text some of the other mums to see if they know whether there was any homework?"

Gah!!!! I have no more to give. I am exhausted. As if I'd start looking into that at 8pm tonight.

Anyway, onto other things. On a totally different tangent, I have passed three cool vans recently which amused me. One was an ironing service called De-Pressed (genius), one was for a tattoo parlour called Pimp My Hide and then I actually had the camera when we passed this one.

Great name. Wonder if the boss is Mick Wagger........sorry.

Talking about Pimp My Hide, I have completed Project Pimp My Shed. Actually I must confess, it was a joint effort between me and my bearded beauty the Husband.

Before (obviously.  Imagine if this was "After"!!!!)

My little falling down rickety beach hut. LOVE!

Anyway on another tangent, I have found a cool shop full of treasures, namely Ladybird books. I shall blog about them next time.

In the meantime, I shall leave you with these. The kids stole my camera. They are SO mindless.

Back with a new post after school.......I shall be a wreck tomorrow morning. :-(     #mustmanup