So there's a pathetic amount of snow by the coast. And I'm feeling irked. I wanted proper snow days for the children - you know, that glorious sound of muffled silence when you wake up and just know that snow has fallen in gargantuan amounts. Deep, crunchy, powdery snow.
We would have fun snowball fighting sessions in the mornings, the rosy-cheeked children gazing at me with sheer happiness at school being cancelled, then we would be sledging down steep hills which glisten and sparkle in their snow-clad blankets. The afternoon would be spent indulgently thawing out by a roaring log fire while dozing and semi-watching a cosy old-fashioned film through one eye vaguely open, and a cashmere throw hugs us all. Fairy lights would twinkle and it would feel almost Christmassy.
That's obviously my fantasy world which flairs up from time to time.
The truth is this. We had a miniscule amount of snow. School carried on as normal. There was no muffled silence when I woke up, I just heard yelling children asking me where their uniform was and whether they could go and watch TV rather than clean their teeth.
There are no rosy cheeks. Everyone looks tired and pale (probably because everyone refuses to eat my meals. I don't always burn it. Sometimes there's success (like, you know, baked beans) but they still don't trust me.
Oh, and there's no roaring log fire either. There's a naff gas fire which we pretend is real but the rabbit has eaten most of the fake coal because he has a charcoal obsession. He's also eaten through the fairy lights cable so there's not much twinkling happening either (more of an "it's electrifying!" moment). And I can't afford cashmere. We huddle under a crochet blanket I made but the kids have pulled it apart (cos crochet isn't my forte) so there's a gaping hole in the centre. I can't often watch nice films as the kids want the TV for their X Box. This is why I fantasise.
Anyway, I want spring now. Proper spring.
Snow (even hopeless amounts) brings lethargy and hunger (or is it just me?). I just want to sleep and eat. A sort of hibernation if you will. Lots of hot buttered toast and mugs of steaming tea.
But in reality, spring should be here. We should be waking up and feeling alive. ALIVE! Where are the blue skies, and gentle frosts which melt under a warming sun. Where are the lambs? It's Easter in a couple of weeks and I for one am concerned.
I always go lambing at Easter and I haven't seen one woolly blighter. Go away now snow we don't require your services anymore. And I'm not just saying this because all my family in Somerset have a snow day today and are sledging and guzzling hot chocolate, honest.
Look at the feeble snow. Charity shops items here include my daughter's red hat, her coat and my skirt. The faux fur coat was donated to me by my mother in law.
Making the most of half a centimetre...
Here's Sweet Child on Saturday morning, as the snowflakes slowly swept their way over to us.
This was a week ago and it really did feel marvellous and warm. Come back please sunshine, you're missed.