Thursday, 12 September 2013

Watermelons, Porridge and Meatloaf

Just look at the size of me.

Not seen me lady garden in weeks.............

I carried a watermelon?

I am in my third and final trimester and look like I'm carrying a watermelon. Bit like Baby from Dirty Dancing, although she carried a watermelon with graceful stature and got to snog Sir Patrick of Swayze.

I get to carry a watermelon and then push it out through an opening the size of a grape (ok, I've had two kids, it's not the size of a grape...)

Despite resembling Pavarotti's lovechild, I am loving this pregnancy. I love the way my nails are growing like weeds, my hair is thick and long (although straw-like due to living on the south coast) and my skin's not looking too bad either. When I've given birth, my hair will fall out and leave little merkins all over the house, my skin will go back to being rubbish and my nails will be bitten down to stubs as I brace myself for more sleepless nights.

What I am not loving is that the baby is lying on a nerve as of last week and causing a bit of sciatica. It has bypassed my back, fortunately, but is affecting my leg from the knee down to the ankle. I am therefore a little limpy. A bit cowboy like. A bit like I've either got a bad case of piles (and let's not even touch on that subject) or have just had a little accident. My gait is not sexy and I can't sashay. But then do I really want to be a sexy sashayer? Not a jot.

And as for my boobs. Good lord, they're already big enough to feed 500 children. Believe me, the milky bras are on me. I can say no more.

So, in other news, the kids started back at school. The Prince started school for the first time ever.  I only blubbed a bit on the way home.

They start their day with porridge.....

...and the morning papers

This is not a set up pic either! They do look at the papers. I've got to monitor what the Princess reads though...

He already has a new BFF called Vinnie and had a great first week.

Love the walk to school. How cute do they look?
Sadly there were wobbles this morning when he arrived in the classroom as it was a longer session including lunch and he doesn't "do lunch" apparently and he wants to come home and eat with me.

So from tomorrow at the teacher's request, I also have to rock up to have a packed lunch with 30 four and five year-olds to gradually ease the poor kid in. Not quite my idea of lunch out but the Prince is my favourite little chap on earth so I will do whatever helps him. I shall not eat a Cheese String though. I'm not that good a mum. It's a bit like Meatloaf. I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.......

After his first morning, he went swimming in the sea with the Husband on the last hot day.

Husband's beard is making him look like the man in the Joy of Sex 70s book. I may have to have words soon.

I merely basted
I've been in Ladybird heaven after finding a second hand book shop that had four shelves PILED high with them.

Look what I found!

Oh it's nearly Friday. We have fun planned for this weekend and I can't wait.


SarahB said...

You and your brood are just gorgeous!!

You must take me to the Ladybird shop, I want to start a collection of my favourites and I can NEVER find them in cherry tree shops here....


S x

Kylie said...

Firstly Gem, you look bloomin gorgeous - Pavarotti's lovechild, or not! (and you are very funny to boot!)

Ladybird heaven - I have been told that Gertrude Gooseberry is quite collectable (it sells for big bucks on ebay, or so I've been told by the lovely lady who gave me my copy...)

Take care Gem, hope your boyo settles-in at school soon x

thriftwood said...

Oh Gem, you've certainly cheered me up on this dull, grey morning! There's nothing glamorous about pregnancy, all the side effects prove that (piles ... aaaargh!!) but you look fabulous, sweetie!

You've had a lot going on, Little Prnce starting school is a biggie, and you've coped really well, especially given the fact that you have raging, tear-induced hormones surging around your body!

Very envious of your Ladybird books ... I'm having real withdrawal symptoms, as haven't visited a Cherrytree for nearly two weeks ... busy last week getting ready for Harry going to Uni and a Vintage Fair, and this week I am carless as a result of trip to Uni ...

Have a fab weekend and take care ... I'm jut going to read through this post again, it's really cheered me up, you just say it as it is ... brilliant!

Love Claire xxx

VintageVicki said...

You've made me smile - little miss watermelon ;)

All those Ladybirds - I'd have been hyperventilating!

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Gorgeous are beautiful. Just beautiful. You look fabulous and slim, of course in spite of your pregnant belly, you look wonderful. Your children eating their porridge, what a sweet picture as they are dressed up for school. That is what I would love to see, kids in uniform. My friend, I cannot wait to find out when you give birth! You are a joy to read and fun to view. MUCH LOVE! Anita

Anonymous said...


Nelly B-K said...

Love that you have actually mentioned your lady garden on the blog, made me laugh out loud. Looking good. You that is. Can't help you with the lady garden, ha ha. And yes I did get your questionnaire- big big thanks. That little project continues!
Nelly x x

Cuckoo said...

Ha ha! The Milky Bras are on me!

How calm and lovely your breakfast mornings look. Mine are CHAOS. Utter bedlam, I tell you.

Now, about your birthday. Yes. I know it is the 17th!! Not the 25th. (Why do I have that brain block?) However, your gift will be arriving nearer the 25th because a) I ordered supplies to make you a small token on Monday but didn't realise I hadn't completed the transaction so have been waiting all week for something to arrive that I'd not ordered. b) The other part of it that I did manage to order correctly has arrived and it is laughably small. More appropriate for a pixie than a watermelon, er, I mean a person.

Only jesting my lover, you look absolutely gorgeous. So very very gorgeous. I'd grow a beard and schnog you meself.

mucho love,


Grammy Braxton said...

You are such a gorgeous mother to be. I never in my life looked as good as that! Ah, the Prince will soon get the hang of school. Hang in there.


Jay said...

You always make me laugh out loud! Brilliant post, and you look fantastic, John Wayne gait and all.

I hope lunch at school was ok, not easy sitting on those teeny tiny chairs with a watermelon!

And don't remind me of that Joy of Sex book which I found under my Mum's bed decades ago and which gave me nightmares!

Vintage Coconut said...

You had me smiling the whole time I was reading this post.
You just have a way with words.
Fantastic pics! I love how your kids read the paper with breakfast. *hehehe*
(Joy of sex 70s book) "Burst out laughing!"

jus said...

WHEN DID YOU GET PREGNANT!!! Blimey, I know I haven't really read or blogged for a while but... WHEN DID YOU GET PREGNANT?! You look lush darlin', ripe. Sorry does that sound weird, but you do xx