Monday, 25 February 2013

Cherry tree issues

What a liberty. What a flamin' cheek.

I decided to take the below dress back to the cherry tree shop (I blogged about it recently) which the dear little old lady behind the counter had kindly suggested I take home (WITHOUT paying for it) so I could try it on. Such faith, bless her.

I eventually realised that I wasn't a fragile French floaty-frocked kind of filly (the label is Parisian) so what was the point of keeping it if it wouldn't fit me for months unless I starved myself and exercised like Davina on speed.

The dear sweet old lady was behind the counter when I returned and I handed it over, and explained it wasn't the best fit. She replied (with a look of shock):

"I should imagine it wasn't! This dress is a size 12! You're not a size 12 are you? Definitely better to give it back as it won't fit you."

Like I said, what a liberty.

"Dear sweet old lady" will be named something else next time. Like Inconsiderate Batty OAP Who Speaks the Truth.

The most annoying thing is I've been on Lent for two weeks and actually feel bigger. Mind you, I've gorged on lentils and chickpeas and keeping making a gorgeous salad that my friend Macky told me about years ago and I don't think my fragile belly can cope (that's the only fragile thing about me).

So, what did I do after I was insulted in a packed cherry tree shop?

Did I go for a long walk and eat nothing but lettuce? Nope, the kids and I hit McDonald's - or Donald's House as the Prince calls it. I'd already promised it to them as it was an inset day and they were so excited as we don't go often.

Couldn't bring myself to order a beefburger though just in case. I've heard about the Ikea Meatballs and it's now becoming serious.

Anyway, it wasn't entirely wasted time in the cherry tree shop. I found Buckbeak, an amusing Harry Potter creature that is nurtured by Hagrid.  The Princess has never loved me more, apparently, for spotting it!

Buckbeak enjoying the scent of my daffs!

We saw the "real" Buckbeak at the Harry Potter studio and for those not in the know, he looks like this:

Brad Pitt he ain't...

It didn't have a price so Inconsiderate Batty OAP Who Speaks the Truth said I could have it for 50p. See, she's not all bad. She also lets me buy Ladybird books for half the price they should be when no one is looking.

Onto other things, I've been watching Embarrassing Bodies tonight. I've seen the remains of a willy that got ripped off in a car crash and varicose veins in  a lady's vulva. I can't cope with much more, it's worse than Jeremy Kyle. WHY do people do it?

Changing the subject, as I feel all queasy again at the thought of it,  how obsessed are you all with daffodils? I love their scent so much, I'm literally filling the house. It cheers me up when the weather is so bad and I love them for all their cheapness.

And finally, I have made my decision on my favourite blogs that have 300 or less followers. (Although can't see the number of followers on Annaboos House but I just love how she teaches the world to crochet so stuck her on anyway).

Ladies, please revert to my previous post on what you have to do, if you wish to accept the award. No worries if you can't be jiggered!

I love all the above blogs so do hope over if they are new to you and see them shake their thangs.


Anonymous said...

I am amused by your happenings and how you tell them. You look great so any size is a good size.

Thanks for the new blogs. It's funny but blogs seem to con-exist in seperate parallel universes, like we are told there are other milky ways out there but we don't know where to find them. Blogs seem to be in webs, whereby one leads to another and another but only within that network and you can't get outside it and find new ones easily. There is a lot of influence doing the rounds in them too, so that there are a lot of similarities within a web of blogs. Sometimes a change is good.

There are hundereds of blogs out there that you might never ever find. There are a lot of new to me blogs in your list, talking about some interesting and different things. So a breath of fresh air.

Thanks :)

VintageVicki said...

Oh dear - tact is something often lacking in dear little old ladies.

We try hard to be very tactful with our customers - not easy sometimes but it has to be done.

I love daff season - can't wait till the ones in my garden burst into flower - just a few more weeks to go :)

fee @ chipper nelly said...

Too funny. lovely dress though, can see why you were tempted.

The Granny told me yesterday she was so horrified at her wobbly bum in the M+S changing room mirror that she had to go and have a scone with jam and cream to get over it!!

I too watched embarrassing bodies...those willies on the beach were too much (as were the eyes...why do they do it but why do we watch!)

fee x

milky ways?

Cuckoo said...

How Verrrry Dare She????

Don't talk to me about weight. My face is twice the size it normally is.

God I love lentils and chick peas but I cannot eat them often. They send my tummy into hotair balloon fits. In fact anything small and round leaves me, lets say, er, tuneful!

Emabarrassing bodies. Mental. You are too embarrassed to see your local doctor but quite prepared to show a doctor you have never met before and a tv audience of millions? As for JK. Jayzus, that show freaks me right out. I can't watch it. It leeches all hope from me that society has more decent people than pratts.

Just double checking, you're busy all over Easter? I think that's when the baby is due. Too exciting. Bet you're skipping about!


thriftwood said...

Haha old ladies just can't help themselves, can they? I always remember Steve's grandma describing someone and saying "she's a big lump of a lass, like you" ...

Was a lovely dress though Gem, but never mind, there's always something new at The Cherry Tree!

Have a lovely week

Claire xxx

Nelly B-K said...

Ooh I laughed out loud about three times in that post. Ikea meatballs you say? What the hell? I was being all 'righteous' saying, "no horse for me, I don't eat any processed meat" but I have just recalled my pregnancy craving for those little balls of loveliness covered in that, er, gravy stuff. Turns out I am probably about 50 percent horse as we speak,
Nelly xxxxx

Lucy Nation said...

Thanks for the tag dear. I'll be popping over tot he other blogs in short order. Ha ha, what a cheeky old harridan. Some old people are the rudest most impatient people you would ever meet and they have the nerve to complain about the yoof! I don't think there's anythig wrong with the way you look at all. I on the other hand could really do with eating only lentils and chickpeas for a lengthy period! Cake and chocolate are like oxygen to me! I'm glad to say I have never watched Embaressing Bodies. Just hearing other people talk about it makes me so angry and riled. I can't believe people don't see how nasty and exploitative this kind of television is, not to mention stomach churningly gross! Lovin the cherry tree purchases xxx

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Good morning GEM!

Well, I have had my share of TELL IT LIKE IT IS women give me a piece of their mind. YEP, skinny old me.....and it hurt. But you go on, and become the beautiful soul that you are. HANG what society says about being perfectly shaped. I have tried all I can do to "fit into" what society thinks is the ideal, but my HIPS won't squeeze into those ideals. HANG IT. HANG the media. You are fabulous, you are GEM, and that is what you will continue to learn as you walk proudly in life. Thus endeth the lesson! teeeheee

HONESTLY, you are a prize. I am so happy to come to see you anytime, even on my little blogging break. I will go see these bloggers throughout the day as I go in and out. AND THAT SHOW of which you speak.....MY GOODNESS! I have never heard of the likes of it in American version, but I am sure it must exist!!!!!!


Jacquie said...

Hi , just found your blog and already added you to my blog list :0)
A work colleague was making us laugh this morning, telling how she fell asleep in front of the T.V. last night and woke up to a close up on embarrassing bodies....nasty shock !
Jacquie x

Lakota [Faith Hope and Charity Shopping] said...

Bwahaha, what a cheeky old mare. Next time you see her doing '1001 wordsearches' or whatever, you could always suggest that it was an ambitious purchase, given that her time left on earth is likely to be short ;-)

I can't cope with embarrassing bodies. Just WHY??

Beckah said...

Well the cheeky old bird, and I'm not on about buckbeak! I think once a gal hits a certain age they must lose total control of their tact. Can't wait, ooh, we'll get away with so much without the risk of getting socked in the kisser!

As for Embarrassing bodies, I can't even bear to watch the adverts for the show, YUK!

Adore daffs however, much prettier than the other, what we call, flowerprints. They have more common names, one beginning with the word rusty, I'm elaborating too much, I'll stop immediately! Sorry.

Beckah X

Vintage Coconut said...

What a naughty ole bat!
I cannot believe she said that. Thank goodness you are not a person with anger issues... She could of got a handbag to the head. *BWAHAHA*

I think I would be horrified watching embarrassing bodies. *Eaaak* & *shudder*

Vintage Coconut said...

p.s. I was charmed to be on your list. *heheh*

kmmms said...

What a cheek! How very rude!
Thank you for the mention above doll, very kind.
That Harry Potter place looks fun, is it pricey to get in?
Really hoping we can make the easter hols meet up work xxx

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog from some blog to blog surfing - I think it was from Bunny Mummy - and now you are on my corner of the iPad as I laughed like a drain at this post and some of your previous. Love your style!
Alison x

Annaboo said...

Thanks for the bloggy award, you lovely gal.
Embarrassing bodies is a thing the Mister has a penchant for. (A few years ago it was that Extreme Surgery Live presented by Vanessa Feltz.) Was it just me, but I actually couldn't see the varicose vein in her vulva (not Vanessa's) And dammit, I missed the broken-willy thing.
I still recall the lady in our local charity shop who kept referring to Annabelle (baby in pushchair, dressed in PINK) as a lovely boy. It happened every time I went in. Goddammit, it annoyed me.
Love you, sweet lady.

Martina said...

Hi, i'm coming over from Anita, and a a new follower of your blog. Want to follow me too?
I have a great giveaway going on, you can win free designer eyeglasses! See you soon - hope you have a lovely weekend, M.